Three Poems

Code Switched

I can be this, Code A, but why limit myself, Code B, I can be that, the tone of my voice emulating the aunty we rarely see at family events, Code C, my mannerisms are coached, they said don’t walk like that, I walk however I want now, Code D, whether my skirt is too short, or jeans too baggy, the switch in my hips come and go, Code E, you can see my underwear when I don’t wear a belt, but you can’t see my crop top under my Tupac hoodie, they don’t know what to believe, it's hard for them to place me in a box, when I never belonged in one in the first place

Weirdly, My Chest Tightens

Weirdly, my chest tightens
Knowing this is not a happy story
The rhythm of my heart beat
Faster and faster
Tons of images flowing
My mind — My thoughts
I am reminded of the song Glory
Relating to experiences I've shared
How many men with this structure
A structure, a build similar to mine
Had to muster the strength
Find it, to call another man master
My body feels like a cluster —
We can't be this angry as
A man of my stature
Rage, body heating with every glance
I see the people of fairness
I try to lift out the mist growing from this —
Utter dark abyss
Staring in some sort of amazement
I'm amused
They're so in awe of this
Why must the head lay on a pillow
Not standing tall on a stool
I relate – not only to this

The Road Increased

I hear the curtains going up
The show is about to begin
I can feel the space in between the audience and me

One, Two, Three, Four

I begin facing upstage
The audience can’t see my face
And I can’t see them

Five, Six, Seven, Eight

I'm not nervous
I've rehearsed this for months
Why am I out of breath already?

She goesOne
I go Two
Run Three, Four, Five

I’m offstage

Six, Seven, Eight

I don’t have a chance to catch my breath

She turns Three
I go Five, Six, Seven, Eight

Grab Hands
Run Around the Bend
Run

Seven, Eight, One
Push two
Three, Four, Five, Six
And Seven, Eight

Nine, Ten, Eleven, Twelve

We spread out

It leads us to the back

Like metal bending
We finally are face on with the audience

I’m nervous

We are wearing white and silver
They can see everything
How does my line look?

What happens next?

Nothing happens on One
Step Two, and a Three, and a Four, Five
Grab Six

One and Two and Three and Four
And Five and Six and Seven Eight

Repeat

Stop Five
Run Six

Don't fall
Head Down
Don't let go
Don't fall

He goes One
I go Two
Step Three, Four, Five
Grab Six

One and Two and Three and Four
And Five and Six and Seven Eight

He goes One
I go Two

Three, Four, Five, Six

I wait my turn

Seven
Run Eight

I made it to my spot
I’m not nervous

Nine, Ten, Eleven, Twelve

I'm counting my life in twelves now
I begin my solo
I'm nervous